Straightforward in many ways, complex in others, he knew that he was tactless and readily admitted to being churlish, yet he was an admired pastor, a patient counselor and affectionate husband, father and friend. He shrank from violence, but his moral courage never failed. The contrast between sensitivity and his vehement denunciation of anyone of […]
Discovering Anger
Pastor Mike, My friends and family all tell me that I’m bitter and always angry. I agree, but they tell me to “just stop it!” And I can’t. I get angry because people say and do mean things to me. Of course I get angry, wouldn’t you? At the same time I know that the […]
Mental Drift
Dear Pastor Lawyer, My question is what do you do with thoughts I didn’t intend? Here’s an example of what I’m talking about: I’m working in the shop, and my mind starts wandering all over the place, and eventually my thoughts start going to inappropriate places for most the afternoon, without trigger. I didn’t intend […]
Sadness
When you run to God with tears of sadness, you don’t run to One who is passionless and stoic, but One who grieves with and for you. Paul Tripp
The Importance of Language in Counseling
Language is very important in counseling. Of course, God created language and he uses it all the time. He used it to create the universe. He used it to visit us in history. He used it to communicate with us to help us in our infirmity. We use it to communicate with one another. Involving […]
Halo Data
Gathering data is one of the most important parts of giving good and godly counsel (Pro. 18:13). The two primary ways a counselor can gather data are directly and indirectly. Jay Adams says “overtly and covertly” (The Biblical Counselor’s Manuel, p. 257ff.) Direct information comes as a result of asking the counselee for information and […]
The Preconditioning Level
The preconditioning level is “the long-standing underlying pattern of non-biblical responses which often stems back into childhood.” It is a term used by Jay Adams in Competent to Counsel to describe the third level of involvement in the counseling process (p. 148). When the counselee comes to your office, he tells you what brought him […]
Complicating Problems
A complicating problem, also called a secondary problem, is a problem that comes as a result of not handling the primary problem correctly in the first place. Jay Adams gives an example of complicating problems in his book Competent to Counsel, when he discusses how sin, not dealt with Biblically, spirals downward, out of control. […]
The Concept of “Presentation Level” and “Performance Level”
Working with people and their problems is often like working with an onion. To get to the heart of the matter, you often have to peel off several layers. People usually come to me with issues in their lives that they know they need to do something about. They know they are having trouble. What […]