Some Thoughts On Homework And…
Some Ways Biblical Counseling Isn’t CBT
I view the Biblical Counseling homework as having four helpful effects.
First, homework gives more than one input to your situation than just me. I’ve been around for a long time and think I’ve learned a few things about life and godliness, but the homework adds another level to what I have to offer.
Second, homework, done regularly and well, gives you a different look at life. My goal is to have you think in more biblical ways than simply trying to figure out and live in a good or at least better marriage.
Third, homework is meant to help establish a pattern for living after we’re finished with counseling. If you only change during the time we are meeting and then you go back to life as it was, so will your relationships.
Finally, and most importantly, homework is meant to help you meet with God. I’m convinced that we change as we meet with various folks and who they are rubs off on us. If we hang out with a bunch of losers, it won’t be long before we are losers too. If we hang out with the creator of the universe, it won’t be long before we take on some of his characteristics. Our goal as Christians is to be like Christ and we can’t accomplish this goal unless we spend time with him. So, I give homework designed to help you spend time with him. Part of this is what Jesus said when he said, “lay down your life, take up your cross, and follow me.” We aren’t doing that if we are trying to add him to our already busy life. Laying down our life means getting rid of everything that gets in the way of following him with our whole heart. This is what was going on when Jesus told the rich young man that he couldn’t follow him unless he got rid of all his stuff first.
All this is why I’m so concerned about your doing homework. I can give good advice, but that doesn’t change hearts. And only changed hearts will produce changed lives. Only meeting with God, letting him transform you, and then obeying him, will produce the changed family you desire.