Not Who You Are but Whose You Are
When folks come for counsel and it appears that they have a goofy view of who they are, I often give them homework that consists of a couple of pages with hundreds of scripture references that talk about who God says they are. They/we need to get our identity about who we are by reading the Bible and asking what God thinks of us. So far, so good.
This afternoon I was reading a paper that was talking about using the book of Deuteronomy to help people overcome fear, and it occurred to me that God’s view of who we are is very different from our view of who we think we are. Peruse these passages and note what God says about his people:
“Do not think in your heart, after the Lord your God has cast them out before you, saying, ‘Because of my righteousness the Lord has brought me in to possess this land’; but it is because of the wickedness of these nations that the Lord is driving them out from before you. It is not because of your righteousness or the uprightness of your heart that you go in to possess their land, but because of the wickedness of these nations that the Lord your God drives them out from before you, and that He may fulfill the word which the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.” (Deuteronomy 9:4–5)
“Therefore understand that the Lord your God is not giving you this good land to possess because of your righteousness, for you are a stiff-necked people. “Remember! Do not forget how you provoked the Lord your God to wrath in the wilderness. From the day that you departed from the land of Egypt until you came to this place, you have been rebellious against the Lord. Also in Horeb you provoked the Lord to wrath, so that the Lord was angry enough with you to have destroyed you.” (Deuteronomy 9:6–8)
Notice that he says the Israelites aren’t righteous or upright of heart. Rather they are stiff-necked, provoking wrath, and rebellious. The Bible tells us that what was written to them was written for us. With this in mind, it appears that we must be just like they were. Without some serious help, we are stiff-necked, etc.
The way I was using the homework was for my counselees to look up all the passages on the sheets, read them in context, think about them, and then, believe what God says about them. Here are a few examples:
“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)
“So now, brethren, I commend you to God and to the word of His grace, which is able to build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified.” (Acts 20:32)
“Beloved, while I was very diligent to write to you concerning our common salvation, I found it necessary to write to you exhorting you to contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints.” (Jude 3)
“But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption—” (1 Corinthians 1:30)
In all these passages, it would be easy to think that God has given us these gifts because we are worthy of the gifts. Jesus came to give us life (Jn 10:10). We are built up and have an inheritance with the others who are being made holy (Acts 20:32). We have salvation (Jude 3). Jesus gives us wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption (1 Cor 1:30). If we are worthy of these gifts, it means we are special. We begin thinking that because we are so special God somehow owes us the blessings he has given to us. And if God owes us blessings, because we are so wonderful, then everyone else owes us the same consideration.
One reason this is such a problem is that when we think this way, we become very confused when life happens to us. According to the Bible, life is filled with trials, hardships, trouble, tribulation, and persecution. Life hurts. Life is fearful. Life can be crushing and if we aren’t being Christian, it can destroy us.
Another reason this is a problem, and this one is directly related to the first, is that life doesn’t have to get all that hard before we think we’ve been wronged, sinned against, abused. When we are the center of the universe, especially when we believe God told us we are, it doesn’t take very much to rattle our cage. “Who do you think you are treating me like that? Don’t you know who I am?”
In a counseling session, people hear this question a lot, “Can you give me an example of what you’re talking about?” The couple just had a big fight, even on the way to counseling, about which route to take to get to my office (or some other very inconsequential topic). In response, I let each party explain what happened in the altercation. What often shows up, in the recounting, is that the real battle is about their “need” to be heard, right, win, be in charge, not be topped, etc. Sometimes, they have even forgotten what brought the argument up in the first place. The point is that people usually fight over who gets to be right, or in charge. I believe this is the result of who people think they are. And, sometimes I wonder if we don’t get who we think we are by reading passages like those I give folks to help them for homework.
Of course, the main reason thinking like it is a problem is because it is sinful. We have twisted or spun God’s scripture where he tells us who we are, and we’ve forgotten those other passages where he’s actually told us who we are. We’re like the cat who is pet, fed, has a nice place to sleep, an occasional cardboard box to get into, and because of this thinks she must be a god. God does wonderful things for us and instead of being grateful, we forget the giver and think we’re wonderful. In the church, we would never say that out loud, but let someone cross us and “lookout.”
What’s to be done? What will I do now for homework? I think I’ll use it as before and add this to it; instead of just looking at the verses to see what God thinks of them, I’ll say something like, “Notice in all these verses what made you you. In other words, we have those kinds of passages like the ones we read in Deuteronomy and we have the ones we’re using in our homework. What is the difference? Who made the difference? What did we do to earn, deserve, or merit God’s kind attention to us?”
What I’ll be looking for is some thinking that changes from focusing on who we are to marveling in whose we are. We aren’t worth much by ourselves, but in Christ we get everything. We haven’t impressed God, but Jesus did and because we’re in Him, God blesses us. Because we belong to Jesus, are found in him, seen in him, loved in him, we are someone. But it still isn’t us, its Jesus.
This understanding of whose we are will change how we view life. It will change how we view the hard things of life. It will change how we view the nice things of life. It will give us joy, peace, kindness, loveliness, and winsomeness. We will delight in the world God has given us and in which he has put us—even when it is hard, dangerous, difficult, and treacherous.
It isn’t who we are, it is whose we are that makes all the difference.
Photo by Wayne Lee-Sing on Unsplash