Whistling A Happy Tune

Hi Wilhemina,

About your questions:

One thing that might be helpful is for you to find some chapters and verses for what you’re being critical about. For example, you said you want to do everything for Jesus, but nothing you do is “good enough.” So, what does “good enough” mean? Does it mean that when you play something on the piano, it must be absolutely perfect? Or that when you cook a meal it must be absolutely perfect? And where is that in the Bible? And who says what perfect in these things means? Is a perfectly played piece one that has no booboos? Or is it one that is played with perfect flair and panache? Or something else? And when you cook a meal, does perfect mean everyone in the world will not only like it, they will cheer wildly and lift you up and carry you around the room shouting accolades about what a great cook you are? Again, what does the word of God say? If we hold either of those standards up for what perfect means, Jesus wasn’t perfect. They did put him on donkeys and cheer for him, but then the next week they hung him on a cross. So, that isn’t what perfection means.

In the area of being an encourager. What would a perfect encouragement look like? Would it mean that everyone only feels encouraged when they are in your presence? Does it mean that when you notice something nice you mention it to whoever does it? Does it mean that you make yourself nuts looking for things and people to be encouraging about? What does the Bible say?

One time, we ran into this problem when examining a fellow for elder. We read in 1 Timothy that the man needed to be, “blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous,” etc. But how blameless is blameless? How temperate is temperate? How good is good behavior? and on and on. We almost went crazy trying to figure out or hold ourselves to a perfect standard, whatever that was.

In the end, we decided that this list and the one in Titus are general characteristics we see in the men coming up for the office. So, gentle means, when we think of him, we think of a gentle man. Hospitable means he generally opens his house for folks who have needs, etc.

The word, perfect, in the Bible, means “mature.” It doesn’t mean perfect in the way that God is perfect and we can’t be. We will, one day, be perfect (sinless), like Christ. And we make it our goal now, but the Bible expects and assumes that in this life we will always fall short. That’s why there is a sacrificial system. So, being an encourager means, when the opportunity for encouragement pops up, you encourage. And you pray for it to pop up a lot. On the other hand, if it doesn’t pop up, you probably don’t have the gift of encouragement. And if you prayed for it and it doesn’t happen, figure God said, “No, not today.” And rejoice in his answered prayer and go on whistling a happy tune.

When I read my Bible, I see God ripping into unbelievers, but dealing kindly with is children. He remembers our frame (Ps 104:3). He gathers us in his arms (Is 40:11). His pinions surround us (Deut 32:10). We are the apple of His eye (Ps 17:8). He rejoices over us with joy (Zeph 3). I can’t imagine God would require of you something that he hasn’t explained clearly to you. That just isn’t his style. With this in mind, he asks us to love one another and then he lets us love one another and is happy with how we’re doing. Believe that, act on that, live that. Be free, rejoice, exult.

One last thing. When our children do things that aren’t perfect because they are little (or young) and unable to do it at our level, we understand and let them work hard to do their best. I think God is that way with his children. Our view of perfect and his view of what he wants usually aren’t the same. He wants us to love one another, but how we comb our hair or walk or whatever, is up to us and we’re free to do it to His glory.

So, to recap: God doesn’t have a really high bar for his children. He is happy to see us being diligent to work with what we have, whatever comes out of it. He does want us to mature, but what that entails is being joyful in trials, rejoicing when things don’t go as planned, loving one another when we have the opportunity, but there isn’t an absolutely perfect way to do that. God loves us and isn’t trying to kill us with rules.

I think I’ve said this before, but maybe you should ask your husband how you’re doing and then believe him and do what he says.

Oh, another last thing, you ask, “Is God pleased with me?” I would say you should turn that on its head. You should say, “Jesus died for me and lives for me, therefore God is pleased with me. I’ll just zoom along doing what I do for the glory of God and to please him and if he isn’t glorified by something I’ve done or isn’t pleased, he’ll let me know.” And he lets us know as we’re studying his Word and as faithful people in our lives gently and sweetly come alongside and tell us.

Someone said, “Never doubt in the dark what you know to be true in the light.” Read his book and believe that. Don’t believe the doubtings you tell yourself when you’re not in the word.

I hope this helps.

Photo by Peter Conlan on Unsplash