Normal

“Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that’” (Jas 4:15).

Shortly after my wife died, someone came up to me and said, “Welcome to the new normal.” I didn’t have any idea what he was talking about. Since then, I think I’ve figured it out.

I think what he meant was that normal was what we had before the cancer announcement. And now that she has died, your normal is different, it is new.

I’ve been thinking about this idea of normal for the past week or so and I’ve decided that we make our lives worse by thinking that there is anything called normal in our lives. Nothing is normal, it is always changing. Most of the time we don’t notice the changes; kids growing, for example. But when we don’t see a 10-year-old until he is 13 we notice that normal was never really existed. Life is always in flux.

Normal seems to me to be something we’ve created because we like things to stay the same. We don’t like change. This is a function of our desire to be in control. It isn’t okay for our child to get really sick, or for our husband to go off to war, or for our wife to get cancer and die. It just isn’t okay. We’re used to the way our lives are going and none of these things are part of what fits our normal. It doesn’t fit into our plan for our life or the lives of those near us.

Paul Tripp says. “You suffer how you’re suffering.” What he means by that is we make our suffering worse by how we suffer and thus add more suffering to our suffering.

We do this in two ways: by thinking that there is something called normal and then, when hard trials come, trying to get back to that normal.

The apostle James said,

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that” (Jas 4:13–15).

We think we are in charge of our lives and are upset when anything comes to us that isn’t part of our plan. We make plans, they don’t work out, we get angry and curse God. But James goes on to say that this idea of normal, and the desire to control what that normal is, is arrogance. Instead, we should believe, that “if the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.”

So, how should we live in the face of intense suffering? One of the themes that come out over and over again in James is that God is in charge of everything. We need to begin by acknowledging that fact and bowing our knee to him as Lord of the universe—including every area of our lives. In his letter, James ties this in to how we face various trials (1:2-4), how we face battles we have with one another (4:1-7), how we use our tongues (3:1-13), okay, just read the whole letter and see that James wants us to think rightly about our lives and our situations. He wants us to live humbly and meekly with God and with one another. And one of the results is that when trials come, we will be ready to respond by rejoicing (1:2) and drawing near to God (4:8).

Does this mean that suffering isn’t happening? No, it is precisely because it is happening. You don’t need to rejoice when trials come if trials never come.

Instead of thinking the trials are changing our normal life, we should think of them as coming into our life to make us more like Jesus. 

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing (Jas 1:2–4). 

And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope (Ro 5:3–4). 

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Co 12:9–10).

Notice the response to the suffering in these examples. In the first James says to rejoice. The second Paul says to glory in suffering. The third, Paul says he boasts in his tribulation. How can we imitate these Apostles? By humbling ourselves, drawing near to God and getting rid of the notion that there is anything called normal.

There is no such thing as a “new normal” because there never was an old normal.

Photo by Porapak Apichodilok from Pexels