Changing Others

Over the years I’ve noticed that what motivates people to change is not always telling them things they need to hear. Sometimes, maybe usually, it involves creating the kind of relationship with the person that will change them via presence and love. So, if a boss is being mean to his employees, it usually doesn’t help for the employee to jump down his boss’ throat and make ultimatums. Sometimes all that is required is that the employee submit to and respect his boss in new and “over the top” ways. This will change the relationship between boss and employee such that the boss will actually care about his employee and thus will change how he treats him.

Love

For the Christian, there is nothing new here. The Bible tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves (Mt 22:39). It tells us to love our enemies (Lk 6:27), to bless them and don’t curse them (Mt 5:44). It tells us to love our wives (Col 3:19), husbands (Tit 2:4), children (1 Jn 5:2), parents (Eph 6:1-3). It tells us to submit to governing authorities (Rom 13:1), our employers (1 Pet 2:18), our husbands (Eph 5:22ff), to love our wives with understanding (1 Pet 3:7ff). The Bible tells us to imitate Jesus (1 Cor 11:1), which, when we study it at all focuses almost exclusively on submission, sacrifice, humility, love, and kindness.

Focus

Christianity, in short, focuses on only a few main things: First, fellowship between Christ and his Father which comes through submission, sacrifice, love, and kindness (Jn 10:15; 1 Jn 1:3). And shows itself in gratitude, love, joy, peace, patience, sacrifice, kindness, etc (Gal 5:22, 23). Second, this relationship between the Son and the Father reflects itself in how we treat one another (1 Jn 2:6). If God sent his son to die for us, if Christ laid down his life for us, we should do the same for one another (1 Jn 3:16). We should imitate God and Christ (Eph 5:1; 1 Cor 11:1). This means that as Christ died at the hands of his civil and religious authorities, so we should submit ourselves to our civil and religious authorities, to the point of death (1 Pet 2:21-25). If Christ, out of love, died at the hands of his own beloved wife, so we husbands should lay down our lives for our believed wives, even if she is doing it with evil motives (Eph 5:22ff; Acts 2:36-37). If Christ obeyed his father unto death, wives need to submit to their husband even unto death (1 Pet 3:1ff). As Christ submitted himself to the one who judges justly, we should also submit ourselves to God, because we know that he is just and the justifier and nothing gets past him (1 Pet 2:23). So, as Christ reflects the love of the father to us, we reflect the love of Jesus to those we live with (2 Pet 1:19). We shine the light of God on an unbelieving world (2 Cor 4:4). We shine the light of Christ on Christians as well and in the process help one another to live with Christ in the midst of suffering and pain, even suffering and pain that is caused by us (Mt 5:14-16).

Service

Christianity is about servanthood, not power (Lk 17:10). Christianity is about submission, not rights and authority (2 Cor 12:13-16). When someone wrongs us, we bless them (Rom 12:14). When someone, anyone, does any kind of evil toward us, we thank God, we pray for the evil doer, we rejoice in being able to suffer for Jesus’ sake, and we bless the one who caused our pain (Mt 5:44).

In the middle of all this the Holy Spirit of God is filling his people with fruit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control (Gal 5:22–23). God is in this and why? For glory (Is 43:7). He is in all of this for glory (Ro 11:36). His glory, our glory (Rom 8:30). Anything less doesn’t bring him glory. He is made glorious when we become like Christ, his perfect and most glorious son. When we fall short of being like Christ, we fall short of what and who we were created to be. So, as a beloved father, God is raising up godly children for his glory and our good (Rom 2:7).

Suffering

If this is the case, we should see scripture that tells us that instead of eschewing suffering and torment, we should be saying bring it on. And this is what we see in Romans 5, 8 and James 1:2-4

“And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Rom 5:3–4). 

“For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified” (Rom 8:29–30).

“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing” (Jas 1:2–4).

Another thing we should expect to see, if this is all accurate, is someone in the Bible exulting in this arrangement and so when Paul says,

“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom 8:38–39). 

This is exactly what he is saying. Or take a few minutes and read some Psalms. The psalmist frequently asks God to take him out of the terrible situation he is in, but in the middle of the Psalm he shifts from “take me out” to “thank you for being here with me and for being my God.” Suffering changes to gratitude and rejoicing. For Paul in 2 Corinthians 12, suffering changed to boasting. He ran right past gratitude, and joy to boasting.

“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor 12:9–10).

God’s Glory

Let me summarize a little bit here: God is about glory. He invited us to share in that glory (1 Pet 4:13). The glory can only come from people who realize that he is the one we’re giving glory to. It isn’t about us. It is about him (1 Cor 10:31). But we were born in sin, selfish to the core, wanting glory for ourselves (Rom 3:23). Sometimes we view this glory as being in control, never needing to have a hard or difficult time. We find ourselves saying, “if only everyone around me realized how great I am, they would treat me with the respect I deserve.” Of course, not many people would say it as blatantly as that, but isn’t that what you are saying when you say, “He doesn’t love me the way I need to be loved”? Or again, that might be too obvious. How about, “he isn’t loving me the way the Scriptures tells him to love me”? I’ve given three examples of the same kind of thinking. The first two were obviously selfish, the third, which is how most people word it, is just as selfish because it is self-oriented. According to everything the Bible says about humility and suffering, the first response of the godly Christian should be gratitude, praise, and glory.

Sometimes our desire to be comfortable and not suffer gets in the way of God’s glory. But suffering, turmoil, pain, anxiety, persecution is on every page of the Bible. Because of sin in the world, that is the state of things until Christ returns. This is what he promised, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (Jn 16:33). And this is why he told us to take up our crosses and follow him (Mt 10:38; Lk 9:23). Peter added, “To this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps…” (1 Pet 2:21).

Glory in the midst of Suffering

So, we are created to give God glory in the midstof a sinful and contrary world. That’s what we are called to. We are called to reflect God and Christ to that fallen and sinful world. We are also called to reflect that Gospel to our fellow Christians so that they will be encouraged to walk with God in holiness and purity (Heb 12:1-2). But it is all done the way God wants it done. Our goal is to please him in all that we do (2 Cor 5:9).

This is the foundation of Biblical Christianity. If a person doesn’t get submission, service, gratitude, glory, servanthood, they don’t know what the Gospel is. They don’t know how to be godly, and the are in danger of being lost (Heb 12:4). Everything in the Christian life has got to start here.

Image by Dimitris Vetsikas from Pixabay