LIKEWISE… PART 3 OF 4
This post is the continuation of this and this. I thought it might be helpful to give a more direct and detailed study of 1 Peter 3:1-6. This is part three.
Before we get to the nuts and bolts of what a wife is supposed to do, let’s talk for a moment about who is being spoken to and to whom they are to submit. The text says, “wives are to be submissive to their own husbands.” I agree with most commentators that Peter words it this way (“own husbands”) for a couple of reasons: First, the words in Greek for wife and woman are the same word. Also, the Greek word for man is the same as the Greek word for husband. Thus, the translators need to ask themselves whether Peter meant to say that women need to submit to men, women need to submit to husbands, wives need to submit to men, or finally, wives need to submit to husbands. I think the context makes it clear that what Peter had in mind was wives submitting to husbands. But Peter adds a word that helps even more. He says, “wives should submit to their own husbands.” Peter is not saying that all women should submit to all men, or that wives should submit to any husband, but that wives should submit to her own husbands.
The next thing to notice is that in addition to wives submitting to their own husbands, they are to submit to their husbands even when “do not obey the word.” If we were to remove the phrase, “that even if some do not obey the word,” it would still read just fine. All Christian wives should submit to their husbands. But then, Peter anticipates the question, “This is all well and good if my husband is a godly Christian man, but what if my husband is like those non-Christian masters you were just talking about?” And so, anticipating this question, Peter helpfully adds, “that even if some do not obey the word…” All Christian wives should submit to their own husbands, whether they are godly or not.
Peter is not talking primarily about wives submitting to non-Christian husbands, but to husbands generally—and even those who don’t obey the word. Some have thought that this passage should only be applied to those situations where the husband is not a Christian, but when you stop to think about it this view doesn’t make any sense. Why would a wife not submit to a Christian husband? And more, why would the Apostle tell wives to submit to non-Christian husbands, when the wives with Christian husbands don’t need to submit to them? And what if through the wife’s faithful submission, her non-Christian husband comes to Christ, should she then stop submitting to him? What would that look like? No! Nowhere in Scripture are we told that godly Christian women should not or don’t need to submit to their husbands. And we have several places where they are told to submit (cf. Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18).
In summary of this section, Christian wives should submit to their husbands and this includes disobedient Christian husbands and non-Christian husbands.
Next, what does Peter mean by submit? Peter used the same Greek word in 2:18, when he said, “Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle but also to the harsh. For this is commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully” (2:18–19). And in 2:13 when he said, “Therefore submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake, whether to the king as supreme,” (2:13). In addition, this is the same word Paul used in Ephesians 5:22 and Colossians 3:18 when he told wives to be submissive to their husbands. Finally, this is the same word used when Luke told us that Jesus was submissive to his parents (Lk. 2:51), the demons where submissive to the disciples (Lk. 10:17), everything is submissive to Jesus (1 Cor. 15:27), and Jesus was submissive to the Father (1 Cor. 15:28).
Whatever you do with our text, or the other texts having to do with wives submitting to husbands (e.g. Eph. 5:22; Col 3:18), you can’t get away with an egalitarian view of Scripture. The Bible, especially here in First Peter (since that is our topic), is clearly saying that wives should submit to their own husbands. And submit, everywhere means, “Do what the one in authority says to do. Obey them.”
To top all of this off, Peter went on to give a very clear example of how a wife should submit to her own husband. He said, “For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror” (3:5–6). Sarah obeyed Abraham and so Christian wives should obey their husbands. Sarah called her husband lord (Gen 18:12) and so Christian wives should call their husbands lord. And above all, they should do it without fearing what may come of it all. So again, submit means obey. More on this in the Q & A section below.
Peter told wives to submit to their husbands so that even if some don’t obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives (3:1). The word ‘won’ shows up in several other places in the NT. Matthew 18:15 says, “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” Here ‘gain’ is our word for win. If the word is taken in this sense, the submissive wife will win her husband by bringing him back into fellowship with her. Another way to take it is to understand the word the way Paul used it in 1 Corinthians 9:19, “For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more;” Here ‘win’ means save. Either way, Peter was saying that the behavior of a man’s wife, submitting to him, respecting him, not putting on airs, etc. will win him to godliness.
One last word, we keep seeing the word fear.
“And if you call on the Father, who without partiality judges according to each one’s work, conduct yourselves throughout the time of your stay here in fear; knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptible things, like silver or gold, from your aimless conduct received by tradition from your fathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot.” (1 Peter 1:17–19)
“Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king. Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh.” (1 Peter 2:17–18)
“For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.” (1 Peter 3:5–6)
“But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you are blessed. “And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.” But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear;” (1 Peter 3:14–15)
For our purposes, we are focusing on 3:6, but we need to understand that in all of the uses of ‘fear’ in First Peter, Peter is mixing our fear of God with the fear we might have because of the ungodly people around us. In 1:17-19, Peter is telling the saints to live our lives here in the fear of God. We can do this because what God did for us was monumental. God loves us, cares for us, gave his son to die for us. And because Jesus rose from the dead, never to die again, this salvation that God has provided for us is eternal and has eternal weight and consequences. Therefore, live your life in reverent awe before the holy and terrifying God.
Some might say that the emphasis here is on reverence, rather than being afraid. There is a sense in which this is true, but I would submit that when talking about our relationship with God, we can’t separate these concepts too far. This is because who God is, casts out the fear we might have for more temporal things and people (1 Jn. 4:18).
In 2:17-18 Peter told his readers to fear God and in the next breath, submit to their earthly masters with fear. As I mentioned above, this fear of masters is because of fear of God. If this were not the case, how could a Christian slave suffer for doing good and take it patiently (v. 20)? If a Christian slave was to live this way with a non-Christian master, he had to have feared God more than he feared the master. While he loved God, and knew that God loved him, which changed how the fear was expressed, he then could stand before an evil master and suffer for God’s glory.
This is the same kind of attitude that wives need to have toward their husbands. They need to commit themselves to the God they fear so that when (or if) their husbands treat them badly, they can submit to them without fearing (3:5-6). Fear only comes when God is absent or when the saints forget that the one they serve is greater than the man standing in front of them. Fear is cast out when God is present.
Finally, we all need not be afraid of those around us who threaten and abuse us because we have sanctified God in our hearts. When we do this, we can not only not be afraid, but can also give good answers in meekness and fear.
Submitting to God allows us to stand firm in the Lord without fear. It also allows us to lay down our lives so that God can work through us to transform the evil in our midst. This is why Peter tells wives that their disobedient husbands will be won without a word by their respectful, submissive, obedient behavior toward them (3:1-2).
Putting it all together:
What Peter is talking about is aggressive Christian living. Living in the context that God is God, Jesus is Lord, and we are the people of God. We are a “chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people” (2:9). We need to believe that. Believing these things will transform us so that even when we are living in horrible suffering, we will still shine the light of Jesus on those who are producing that suffering. That is Peter’s call to us. Be a Christian,” that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; who once were not a people but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy” (2:9-10).
Peter, indeed every author in the Bible, is telling us to think differently about ourselves. He tells us to rejoice in our sufferings, to pray without ceasing, to live as people who know the creator of the universe, to lift ourselves above the worldly teaching we’ve always believed and believe God. Specifically, to wives, God says, “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.” That means just what it says, but it doesn’t mean go limp. It means taking charge of your life by committing yourself to God and giving your husband to Jesus to deal with.