Jammed Into The Bones
Hi Sally,
Here’s what I think. Four things spring to mind: First, stop thinking about, fretting about, and wringing your hands about George and how he is or isn’t doing. Stop reading your Bible with George in mind. Stop thinking, “Hey, there’s another verse George isn’t doing.” Or, “There’s another verse George is falling short on.” This kind of attention toward George is actually a kind of worship. You are spending more time wanting to fix George than you are studying and worshipping God. And in the process, you are treating God like the big sugar daddy in the sky who will when he fixes George, will give you a perfect life. You should know that once George starts walking with God for real, your life will really change, but not in the way you think it will. Keep reading to see how you can be ready for that day.
Second, read your Bible with the goal of learning about God so that you can give him more and more glory. Draw near to him by studying him, praising him, basking in his presence. The best way to do this is to simply read. Our church has a read through the Bible program going that you can be a part of. You can find it here. There are also other ways you can read your Bible that will give you different ideas about things Biblical. For example, do a study of the names of God, using your Bible to do it. See why the various names of God are used throughout the Bible and then use those names when the opportunity presents itself. Or do a study of what “in Christ,” “in Him,” etc. means. Do it the same way that you studied the names of God. Just off the top of my head, I think the phrase is used around 20 times in the first three chapters of Ephesians alone. And/or do a study in 1 John of what he wants you to know. Circle all the times he uses that word and derivatives of it and see what he thinks we ought to know and what to do with that. Pray that God would fill you with all the knowledge of God (Eph 3:19), pursue wisdom (Prov 2).
Third, remember that you aren’t reading for information. You are reading for relationship, so believe what you read. Ask God to jam what you read into every crevice of your soul. Let what you read get into your bones and change your heart so that the light of God would flow out of you without your doing anything to cause it. Don’t worry about whether it is flowing or not. Just enjoy and serve the God you are learning about.
Finally, after you’ve spent some time letting God get into your heart (way longer than you think you need to wait right now), take another look at 1 Peter (the whole letter). Ask yourself, “How am I doing with that verse?” “How am I doing with fulfilling that passage?” “Am I being thankful all the time?” “Am I giving full glory and honor to God in everything I think do and say?” “Am I being a perfect/fully mature Christian?” “Am I humble?” “Am I fulfilling what God has for wives in 3:1-6?” “In context?” Remember there is that little word, “likewise.” Are you being the wife God is calling you to be in that passage? Be that wife. Get out of his way and let God make you into that wife.
When all this is cooking along, and George notices the difference, then you can begin to bring things up. Until then, all George sees is you trying to run his life by guilt and other forms of manipulation. Whether you are trying to or not. One time a man told me that he wasn’t trying to not love his wife, he was just telling it like it was. I told him whether he meant to not love her or not, he was not loving his wife by doing whatever it was. His intentions did not mean anything, what he was doing was what counted. So, you may not want to be disrespectful in what you are doing, but if you are being disrespectful, what you are intending is really a moot point.
If you want George’s opinion about what I’m saying regarding what he thinks, you can run this note past him for his input. If he disagrees with my characterization of what he thinks, you can talk about that. What does he think? Also, if I have it wrong, you should let me know so I can learn to be better at mind reading.