When We Don’t Understand

When we are little, we are told to do various things that we don’t understand but need to do anyway. “Johnny, don’t go into the street.” At two years old, we can’t understand why we can’t go into the street, but Mom said do it, so that’s what we do. As we get older, things don’t change. We might ask for reasons for the command as we mature, but whether we obey or not is not related to why the command was given in the first place.

Our sinfulness spins this so that we think we are obeying if we do what we are told because the reason for the command makes sense to us. “Don’t go in the street.” “Why?” “Because you could get hit by a car.” “Okay. I won’t go in the street.” But are you obeying? It depends. If you are not going in the street because the reasoning makes sense to you and not because your mother told you not to go in the street, you aren’t really obeying. If the command makes sense and your mother told you to do it, you might be obeying. The test comes when your mother tells you to do something and her reasons don’t make good sense to you. “Don’t hang out with George.” “Why?” “Because George is mean to his friends.” But if you don’t think he will treat you that way and besides George is really cool. Do you hang out with George? If you are obedient, you won’t—even if you think your mother is wrong about George.

No matter how old we get, there will always be times when we are told to do things we can’t see and don’t understand. This is especially true when it comes to the things of God. Throughout the Bible, a battle is depicted between the world and God. The things of the world include the cool, the hip, the groovy, the temporary, which always result in all sorts of vile evil (Gal 5:19-21). The things of God include depth of character, godliness, holiness, kindness, permanence, and all sorts of wonderful things (Gal 5:22-23). But notice that to the sinful person, the things of the world are tantalizing and wonderful. That was the problem with George. You thought he was very cool and the way he treated others, wouldn’t (couldn’t) happen to you because you aren’t like George’s other friends. You are just as cool as George. You are blind to the what you don’t know. This is true for all of us.

Because we are blind, we need others to help us see until we can see on our own. We do this all the time in a way that we enjoy. For example, suppose you’ve just had a lovely dinner with your sweet wife and just as you are leaving, she leans over and says, “you have a hunk of meat stuck in your teeth.” This is a good thing. It is a little bit embarrassing at the moment, but I said she is a sweet wife, so she told you as soon as she noticed, so you are grateful to her for not letting you go on like that for the rest of the evening. Or suppose you park your car and as you’re walking away, someone runs up and says, “Hey, I noticed that you left your lights on.” You’re very grateful. You might have left them on overnight and that would have been bad. So, others telling us about things we don’t know is helpful.

Let’s talk about others helping us see our sin spots for a minute. There are times when we sin and can’t see what we’ve done. This is the reason for the witnesses in Matthew 18. In that passage, Jesus said,

Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector (Mt 18:15–17).

Let’s suppose two brothers have an altercation, A and B. B hits A in the face, breaking his nose in the process. Later, A reads the passage above and decides to go to B and tell him he needs to confess his sin of hitting him in the face. He says, “Nothing doing. I hit you, but it was an act of justice for what you did to me. Carrying out justice isn’t sinful.” So, A decides to get two friends who will act as witnesses and tell B he needs to confess his sin to A. C & D hear A’s complaint, go to B and tell him that what he did wasn’t justice it was sinful retaliation and he needs to confess his sin.  A says, “Thank you guys, I see what you mean. You’re right. A, I’m very sorry for sinning against you by hitting you in the nose and breaking it. Please forgive me.” B is all excited. “Of course I forgive you. You’re my best friend. Everyone is happy. C & D helped A to understand something he couldn’t see on his own.

“But wait,” C & D say, “That’s great, but all is not finished. B, why did A hit you in the first place?” B says, “I have no idea. We were just chatting, and he hauled off and hit me, for no reason.”  C asks A, “Why did you hit him? You said something about justice. Justice implies some kind of provocation.” At this point A could say, “It was nothing” letting love cover the offense (1 Pet 4:8). Or he could explain, “Well, I was sitting there at my desk, minding my own business, and B started needling me about the fact that he could hear me breathing. At first, he was teasing me about it and I was fine with that. Then he began to complain about it and things got a little bit tenser. Finally, he started insulting me about it and talking badly about my ancestors who passed asthma to me in the first place. Then, mid-insult he got in my face and I had enough and hit him.” D says, “so you hit him for insulting and yelling at you?” “I’m ashamed to say, that’s what I remember happening,” says A.

Now C & D turn to B and ask if that’s what he remembers happening. He says “yes, except for the fact that I wasn’t insulting him, I was teasing him. And that isn’t sinning. It might be a little bit provocative, but that’s A’s problem, not mine.” Now C & D have a little confab and come to the conclusion that B hadn’t loved A in the whole incident and they tell A and B this. B continues to deny that he has done anything wrong and refuses to confess his sin.

Where are we and what should they do? B brought C & D to the meeting to confront A. That happened, but in the process, the witnesses discovered that B was just as guilty of sin as A had been. They “fixed” A, but now they need to “fix” B. And B isn’t budging on his guilt. In fact, he claims that he hasn’t sinned at all. What should C & D do?

That passage that started this whole shebang says they need to take the incident to the church. Suppose they do and the whole church agrees with C and D that B sinned against A. What are they asking B to do? They are asking him to change his mind about what he thinks about the whole thing. B needs to believe that he sinned against A by not loving him and instead, taunting him. He brought the broken nose on himself by tempting (causing) A to hit him. He doesn’t “see” it, but he needs to change his mind and believe that others, lots of others, do.

This is precisely what I began this post with. At various points in our lives, God has given people to us who can say things to us that we don’t understand so that we can obey him even though we don’t “get it.” In the same way that Johnny needed to stay out of the street even though he didn’t understand why. And the husband with stuff on his teeth needed to believe his wife and act on what she observes. B needs to know that he has sinned against A, confess his sin, and repent of thinking the way he does about the incident.