Bringing “Things” Up
So, now the next question comes, can a wife ever talk to her husband about issues she sees in their marriage?
Here’s my answer. Sort of. It depends. Are the issues you want to fix related to those things in your past (things you just told him you forgive)? Or are they things that are happening now? If the former, then no. If the latter, then maybe.
Why do you want to address these things? Is it because you want to be in charge and make things be the way they ought to be? I or do you want to make your husband more godly and wonderful? If the former, then no. If the latter, then maybe.
Are you trying to fix your husband? Or are you trying to fix you? If the former, then no. If the latter, then it depends.
Will you approach him knowing, in your bones, that these things are all really all his fault? Or will you approach him humbly, submissively, and respectfully? If the former, then no. If the latter, then maybe.
When you approach him to “fix” you, will you blame him for your sin (“you tempted me” or “I would never have done X if you hadn’t said/done/been…”)? Or will you be all about confessing your sin and asking him how you can do better next time? If the former, then no. If the latter, then maybe.
Will you go to him when you are all worked up and in a dither, springing it on him at a time when he doesn’t have the time or opportunity to think carefully and prayerfully about what you want to talk about? Or will you take your time, think about how you can approach our husband in a way that will build him up, help him recognize that he is the head of your home, that you respect him, and will submit to whatever he decides? If the former, then no. If the latter, then maybe.
I keep saying ‘maybe’ because if you have the attitudes and walk with God that would qualify you to approach your husband this way, you might not need or want to bring things up anymore.
1 Peter 3:1-6 says that this kind of attitude shining out of a wife will transform her husband. It will also transform a wife. Many of what they both thought were “issues” will go away. The issues are very very often selfish oriented in the first place. When selfishness is gotten rid of, issues transform and often magically go away.
I hope this helps.